cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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