Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
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