how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize