I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
