respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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