FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
