like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
