i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
