Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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