ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
