I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
do herpes really smell.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
