i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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