People with herpes should wear stickers.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
