is your mom at the bar?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
