if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
