I accidentally burped into my bong.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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