I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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