just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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