the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
and she was petting her beer can
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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