What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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