return my video game
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
