cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Damn victory sex feels great
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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