girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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