yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
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