Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize