just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
