Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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