hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
