This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
