the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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