The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
