Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
