A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
