Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
