Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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