I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
