I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
