good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
