I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Randomize
