so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
