I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
there's paper in my vomit.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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