are you so shy because you have an std?
birth control should be required to get into college
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
