We're like a lot better than the average bears
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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