We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
