Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
