Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
