We're like a lot better than the average bears
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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