I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
