Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
