would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
