i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
