I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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