So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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