I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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