Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
