i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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