I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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