looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
