His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
