2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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