weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
